This past weekend has been a roller coaster for me.
- My grand-daughter is in hospital. At first she was in the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit, with bilateral pneumonia, bacterial and viral infections, and ear infections. She is now on a close-watch ward, with an oxygen and heart rate monitor, and tonight is receiving some hi-flo oxygen to assist her breathing. Thus, I have not only been on healer alert, but Grandma duty.
- The Far East Belly Dance Collective staged a small festival, and I was assisting on Saturday, and attended 3/4 of a make-up tutorial on Sunday. For the first time in a very long time, I felt it was possible, 10 minutes at a time, to reclaim my dancer self, and re-find my skills, fitness level, and enjoy doing it. It’s taken a nearly ten year break from dancing and teaching, but I finally miss it, and had a little cry in my car on Saturday afternoon, after watching some dancers on stage.
I am still spread thin, between Reiki Master, Grandma, and touching base with writer, dancer, blogger, and (ugh) housewife selves. Moment by moment, I choose which persona to wear, all the while making sure my own centre self doesn’t get dragged into stress, rush, and a chorus of ‘must do’.
Last night, exhausted from the weekend, I took twenty minutes to do a little restorative yoga, and put myself to bed at 9pm. I slept through until 8am.
Today, after paying a visit to my grand-daughter in hospital, and bringing colouring books, crayons, and some strawberries, I took myself to my favourite gift, crystal, and new age bookshop, for a potter, and some time out. Retail therapy, but I trusted the right things came my way.
Tonight, it will be another early night, with some dedicated reading time. I’ll be using a small pillow to send reiki to my grand-daughter as I read. I won’t be particularly tuned in. That was for the past few days. Tonight, I can send energy while I read. I must, for my own mental, and physical well-being, practice drawing the line in the sand, and saying ‘Yes, I am priestess, and will send healing, but I must also maintain myself’. In other words, I’m of no use to anyone if I don’t care for myself.
This lesson in self-care has been a looooong time coming.