Tarot Life Planner session 7

Career: what is important to me, and why?

I decided to go with the example in the book, but I could have easily asked about books, tarot, belly dance.

Writing career: what does it mean it me, and why? 3 of Swords and Strength. What’s the saying? Break a writer’s heart and out comes a book. In the past, and to some extent now, my writing is me dealing with life’s heartbreaks, my puzzlement and outrage at human choices, and my own deepest, darkest impulses. To get them on the page, and make them dance for me does give me a feeling of strength, understanding, sometimes power, sometimes mean satisfaction.

Peer respect: what does it mean to me, and why? High Priestess and Ace Of Pentacles. Again and again, the High Priestess. This could be seen as ego here, or that I want acknowledgement that I am good at what I do. Why? Because I feel like a beginner, that the industry, and the ways of storytelling have changed, and I’m a dinosaur from ages ago.

Publication: what does it mean to me, and why? 4 of Pentacles and 2 of Cups. I’m drawing a bit of a blank with 4P, but to scrape at an outside meaning, it may indicate that I need to see all publication, including my blog, fanzines, and non paying markets as publication, and not restrict my ideas to money as worth. Why is publication important? I equate it with being loved. Oh good grief. Well, yes, if I’m revealing my insecure, unloved child self.

Brain integration: (I once explained my feeling of power, rightness, confidence, and utter wellness when I’ve written, in one sitting, a short story that feels right. A psych said that was brain integration.) what does it mean to me, and why? The Sun, and 3 of Pentacles. Yes. When it does happen, I do feel lit up inside, as though I’m a sunflower blooming, walking without touching the ground. It’s important because insecurity tells me I’m a beginner, but brain integration says that my apprenticeship is over, and I’m a Master/High Priestess of my craft.

Craft Mastery: what does this mean to me, and why? 3 of Cups and The World. I’ve been a writer all my life, loving story as soon as I knew what it was Mum was reading to me, making up stories with my dolls(instead of a nap, my dolly Sarah, and Teddy were mountain climbers over my knees), and writing fan fiction from age 10. I have good reason to celebrate my writing, and yes, being as far along the track as I am, even with insecurity and beginner’s mind, gives me the world.

Expressing my deepest-held feelings: 9 of Pentacles and The Lovers. Writing is the one way this Aspie ambivert can truly get the inside stuff out. Everything is inside, and I present a happy serene face to the world, while inside is a maelstrom. Why is expressing these feelings important? Nothing better than someone saying ‘yes, me too’. Again, it’s all about acknowledgement and love, and acceptance despite the maelstrom.

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