- What worked in the past month? The Fool. Unplanning worked. Lol. The intuitive leap, and the moments where I was daring, and went outside my rigid thinking. That selkie poem just flowed when I trusted enough to let it happen. I didn’t find the 15,000 words that much of a slog when I set my mind to it. When I gave up formal dance training to just flit around. When I cooked by instinct, not recipe. When I knew what the problem was with the my body and acted accordingly(more collagen, less sugar).
- What didn’t work? Judgement. Magic didn’t work last month. Not even a hint of it. I didn’t ask for Divine Goddess guidance, or angelic help(because I’m still in two minds about angels). I thanked my parking fairies, but really, there’s so much parking on the few occasions I’ve been out that parking hasn’t been a problem. Asking for guidance didn’t work because I didn’t do it. BIG REMINDER TO SELF!
- What did I learn? The Hermit dropped out as soon as I picked up the deck. I learned that being lonely is just another emotion, not a life sentence. That I can endure it. That some solitude is necessary. That my life was too full before COVID. I learned a little about my inner light, and how I shine in the world. I learned a little about how easy it is for me to blend in by reflecting others, and not letting my true self be seen.
- What is the theme of this month? 2 of Pentacles. That old bugbear of balance. Never have I gotten it right. It’s always been full on with one thing, or another, but never a bit of everything. This month, I’m being asked, especially in terms of my physical self, to find balance. More yoga and balance poses? Not running myself into the ground just so that I sleep at night. A balance between mind, body, spirit. Managing those emotional ups and downs that the mind wants to take me on.
Set 3 goals and pull a card for each, and see if they align with your intuition.
5. Goal 1: 15,000 words of memoir for September(with a dash of ‘is this the final push for this draft?’): 7 of Pentacles. If I tend it, it will grow. The roots(first draft) are already there. I just have to take enough time and care to have them grow and combine into second draft. I have the energy and power within me to do this. Coming to the writing practice with a gratitude practice will help. How to find gratitude for each episode I write about. MAKE A NOTE TO DO THIS, SATYA.
6. Goal 2: Take 3 water colour lessons wherever I find them. The Moon. Hmmm, maybe I’m kidding myself here, since the Moon can be about self-deception. It’s also about facing my fears, and yes, I do have a lot of hang ups about art and me. As this morning’s water colour experiment shows, I have no idea what I’m doing. So, I can learn. The wolf and the dog howl at the moon – the wild and the tame. What happens if I lose control and unleash? Yes, I feel like art is the unknown and I’m drowning. I can embrace that, and learn to float on and with the breath. “Stop struggling to see that which you cannot see.” Accept beginner’s mind, and that I don’t know anything yet. On the surface level, maybe 3 lessons are too much on top of 15,000 words of memoir. I’ll leave that one up in the moonlit air.
7. Goal 3: rediscover that old belly dance choreography. Page of Pentacles. Balance again. A smaller goal, and of less significance than everything else in this spread. It’s the only minor arcana card. Earth magic, making something a reality, the exploration stage. Have it be that there’s nothing at stake except rediscovering it. Find the old music, find the instructions I wrote down, see what I remember. This is meant to be fun. Filming it can come a lot later. A hell of a lot later. Exploration is key here, not achievement.