Oh, I see…

For several weeks, I’ve been obsessed with DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD from the musical SIX. It’s Anne Boleyn’s feature song from the musical, and ever since I heard it, I’ve played it over and over and OVER. I’d wake up in the morning and it would be the first thing that came to mind. Intruding into all moments of the day and night. I’ve never had an ear worm this bad before. Bloody weeks of it. I started wondering if I was kicking off a new phase of mental disorder – obsession. Dear gods no. I’d never get ANYTHING done in my life.

Anyway, early last week, I managed to replace DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD with SHILO by Neil Diamond, for a day or so, and now I’m just suffering the normal amount of ear wormishness.

Sometimes my mind does this – gets on a jag about something. When I was a kid, I spent an entire six week Xmas holidays reading all the Sherlock Holmes books, plus any book about Holmes that Moorabbin library held. Why? I still don’t know. But I can confidently say that I’m familiar with a lot of the early Sherlockiana. And then, one day, I was done with it.

A short while later, I read interviews with a number of famous sf writers, and Robert Silverberg reported something similar. His mind would demand to be fed a certain book or topic, and then just as quickly, be done with it. Sometimes the information would show up in his writing, but often not. He reported that one night he was compelled to start reading Gibbons’ RISE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE. The next day, the compulsion was done. “What did my mind want with it? I still don’t know.”

This comforted me. I assumed it was a writer quirk, and never thought much more about it. Subjects have turned on and off for me over the years, but when the passion is done, it’s done. And sometimes I have to listen to a song until I’ve wrung it dry.

These past few weeks, then, have been DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD. And now I think I see why. I needed to learn the song well enough to start idly creating a choreography. Which means I need to not only interpret the words, but the music as well, to be able to hit the beats. Even if, once I start belly dancing, all I ever remember are hip lifts, hip drops, snake arms, and figure eights. (I’ve seen dancers begin professional careers with less than that under their coin belts.) After I did some yoga this morning, it was time to dance. And I kicked off dancing to DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD.

And there I am, interpreting the story of the song in gesture, dance, and facial expression, all for the edification of the dog.

It appears I’m creating this for…something. Me, first of all, but I do seem to be performing to an invisible audience, so maybe a one-off performance is in my future. That would be nice to work towards, but at this stage, I’m just dancing, feeling my way into the music. “Mate, what was I meant to do?”

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