Ostara Divination: September 2021

Ostara card spread courtesy of Muses of Mystery. Ostara Tarot used. Blue cornflower tea taken to aid divinatory practices on the day of the Spring Equinox. Hail Persephone! Hail Demeter! Hail the Maiden coupled to the Sun God!

1.What do I need to bring back the balance to my life after the cold winter months? 5 of Swords. A green snake twines around 5 swords stabbed into a beach or sea. Conflict that saps energy, reaching for the unattainable – to grab at the nearest sword would be to get bitten. Shift perspective and walk away. In other words, stop yearning for increased energy and dynamism at a time when the world’s energy is at an all-time low. Covid, lockdown, exhaustion, fear – energy sappers. Turn my attention to other things.

1a. What part of me is ready to be reborn? Justice. A very Egyptiancard, a goddess rising from a river, winged, carrying golden scales of justice. A human heart is being weighed on the scales. Maat. I won’t get a gold medal for pushing energy in any direction. I’m ready for the reaction of 3 months of intense creative poetic energy to ease off now, and again, just be for a while. Apparently I need to be hit over the head with this message.

2. What do I need to focus my time and energy on in order to grow? 3 of Wands. Options. A frog sits in a pond watching three ships caught in a whirlpool. Possibilities. No snatching at the moment just contemplation of opportunities and possibilities for future directions. No action needed at the moment, which seems in opposition to burgeoning Spring all around me, but totally suits the frame of body and mind that I’m in.

3. How do I break through the hard shell holding me back? 7 of Cups. A masked woman carries a tray of spilling cups. She is surrounded by masked figures/animals, and is the centre of their attention. Acknowledgement and the centre of attention are illusions. Worldly success means little here, it’s imaginary. Breaking through the hard shell around me means being soft, dropping my masks as best I can, paying attention to the details of what I’m doing, and not worrying about what others think. Easy to say, dear tarot, after 57 years of autism high masking.

3a. How do I open myself to transformation? The World. The world forms from stardust and heat. Pure creation, gravity pulling everything together to make a whole. Allow myself to be pulled along for now, sticking my nose into whatever appeals. The next surge of creativity will come, but not yet. The world inside me is still being formed. To transform, I have to let myself be carried along various paths until something speaks up. Gravity, natural selection, again possibilities.

4. What awakens within and around me to nourish and support? The Empress. How many more times are you going to show up in readings, dear? I get it, you’re my soul and life card for this lifetime. The Empress crouches amongst ferns, allowing life force to flow from her into plants. A small bird nests in her hair. Earth Mother energy. Enjoying my Spring garden, as I am doing, seems to be exactly the right thing to be doing at the moment. Good. I shall carry on.

5. What new journeys will I embark on? Queen of Coins. A mother figure rests with a child, whilst goats surround. A shield to the fore, herbs above. Nurturing and protecting myself are the focus here, not new journeys. Perhaps an journey to my inner child, to protect and nurture her. Capricornian goats. A time of being a stickybeak goat, following my nose quietly, nurturing self. Spring can be busy, but not me.

5a. What new opportunities are on their way? 2 of Swords. A blindfolded blue jay rests on its nest, which is balanced on two crossed swords. Awkward position. One false shift, and everything’s tumbling. No opportunities right now. Being still. No movement for me. Indecision is not forever, it’s a salve right now. I don’t have to decide anything, sign up for anything, action anything. Just Be. Just Be. Just Be.

How I Read Oracle Cards – one card pull instructional

Good morning. Executive decision to not go to dance class this morning, and concentrate on writing stuff. If I want this publication, writing life AS my life, creativity, digging deeper, spilling my mind into the world thing, then I have to make space for it. A growing urge since art therapy last week – lots of frustration came up over this old, old pattern of distraction.

Card: What you want is wanting you.

I asked for guidance for this morning’s writing session, with that decision in mind. I used the Sacred Rebels oracle: artwork by Autumn Skye Morrison, words by Alana Fairchild. (I get peeved with Alana’s decks, when the artist isn’t mentioned on the box. Just sayin’, Alana.)

  1. Looking at the card: a young person, hair streaming/floating, is looking up at the shape of spiral shell formed from their hair. They are white with brown eyes, dark hair. The background is blue sky with clouds. Colours are browns, whites, and blues, a hint of orange as shadow.
  2. Without looking at the book’s interpretation: this feels like a big yes to my decision to….I won’t say run, because that’s not my speed these days, but perhaps float or sail into the possibilities being offered by the various writers’ newsletters I receive, the opportunities offered through Writers Victoria, and my own research into various journals. I can only presume that my resurrected desire to be in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction means that they too desire to have me in there. Perhaps the world is waiting for my prose and poetry and creative non-fiction just as much as I want it out in the world. After years and years of thinking ‘no one cares’, this is complete turn-around of thought and energy, and brings to mind the lessons from E-SQUARED by Pam Grout. The universe wants to give me what I want. Okay then.
  3. The book meaning: “If you have been shamed, judged, made to feel guilt for, or denied your natural desires or pleasures in any way you may have developed and very tricky and complicated relationship with the yearnings of your heart. We often learn to distrust our desires and come to believe that they are something to be overcome or avoided. We may even try to want second best, disbelieving that we are worthy of our first choice….First, trust in what you truly want, what would bring a sense of passionate, playful purpose and fulfillment to your life….If you genuinely don’t know what your heart wants, you will very much enjoy the process of exploring your desires by making gentle and persistent enquiries of yourself….what is it that truly moves you….Play with what it would be like to be fulfilled right now.” All good thoughts from Alana Fairchild. Dream big, dream often.

The spiral in the card is a representation of the Goddess for me. The beautiful circular, sacred spiralling nature of the divine feminine. Look to the Goddess for inspiration, resolve, and bigger dreams.

The element of Air is strong in this card, with the floating hair, and the sky as background. Thought, inspiration, The Sword, The Mind.

I’ve mourned my pre-25 years old life, when I had a burgeoning writing career. I was publishing professionally regularly, wrote regularly, kept sending stuff out. I was confident that my work was good enough. Publications include: Starlog, Meanjin, Mattoid, Australian Short Stories, Far Out, Aurealis, Orb, Pandora, Westerly, Southerfly, LINQ, The Age, The Weekend Australian. I was an emerging writer.

Break to get married and have children – post-natal depression (undiagnosed).

A few more publications in Aurealis, and some overseas non-paying lit mags.

Five year gig as a columnist for NOVA, with appearances in Spellcraft, Circle, and some other USA pagan publications including Green Egg.

Slow fracturing of spirit and mind.

Current state: 42 sessions into TMS treatment (see my posts about Trans Cranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy), art therapy, lockdown slow life, and suddenly, I feel like writing, and publication are possible.

This card says YES in a big way.

Poem – She Travels For Work

She travels for work, my daughter.

I had the email the other day:

‘on my way home, Mum.

Set up my room.’

Which means ‘clear away your paints,

Mother.

I do not acknowledge that you call it

the spare room.

I do not acknowledge that you have grown,

or changed at all’.

Six months at home, six months away.

She heads south,

tends her kingdom there.

She doesn’t say much.

Doesn’t want to bother me,

she says.

As if I can’t see the worry lines,

how pale she becomes.

I suppose all women are queens in their own domain,

but revert to child again

in the family home.

She has a man there,

I know,

but I know nothing about him either.

Well, apart from the usual:

steady job, older than her,

has a dog apparently.

He can’t have kids.

There goes my fancies

of being a grandmother.

If he mourns her when she’s away,

she’s never said.

Towards the end of her six months here,

there’s a letter or two.

Fancy black and silver stationery.

She says to get over it,

not be sad when she’s gone.

I was crazy at first,

withdrew entirely from the world,

wept.

I’m fine now.

Sometimes, I dread her coming home.

Sure, things are more lively,

but who’s to say I want that

at my age?

She says I never want anything to change.

I smile to myself.

Oh Persephone, if only you knew

how much I love my spare room,

my new hobbies,

my life without you.

I see the daffodils are you.

You’ll be home soon,

and I must pack up my paints.

I was working on a nice winter scene, too.

Oh well.

It will keep for six months.

*****

Thankyou to Setjataset for the ‘prompt’. She has just posted her own Persephone poem, and it got me thinking about how the daffodils and jonquils are starting to push up out of the earth, we are past the Winter Solstice, and thus, Persephone is coming back from her six months in Hades, with Hades.

Demeter often gets a bad rap in the Persephone story, being the wildly possessive and over-protective mother. I, too, have an adult daughter who I have launched into the world. She now lives interstate with her husband and three children. It got me thinking about how women change once their children are grown, and how hard it can be for those adult children to accept that the mum they left at home is not the woman who welcomes them; who now has a separate life.

Hekate

As I begin my journey into KEEPING HER KEYS by Cyndi Brannen, I meet a Goddess who I have been afraid to work with. The reputation of Hekate precedes her, although, when I think of Her call to me, it came even before the call of Diana. I became obsessed with the children’s book JENNIFER, HECATE, MACBETH AND ME. The name Hekate called to me, and it was Her name that let me know that the book would be witchly, and thus, of interest to me. I can scarcely remember the book now. I should reread it. I think I read it around the same time as I read GRINNY, and the covers and plots have become entwined.

Hail Hekate, keeper of the keys.

Hail Hekate, ancient and enduring.

Hail Hekate, You of the triple, or more, facese.

Hail Hekate, I come before you,

a humble witch,

ready to bare myself to you,

and be lead into the light,

through the Gates,

into the universe.

Hail Hekate, my small voice calls to you,

as You have called to me.

Many years, but now I am ready.

Let me be brushed by Your Divine self.

Hail Hekate, Queen of Witches,

Hail Hekate, enduring One.

Hail Hekate, Divine Goddess.

Full Moon In Libra ritual musings

Libra – scales, scales of justice, balance, astrological 7th house(move from personal to the interpersonal houses, the cosmic self plus one, relationships with others, partnership), Cardinal Air, ruled by Venus, peace, fairness, others, equality.

What’s been happening in the world: covid, rape allegations in Australian parliament, men hanging on to power, right to abortion threatened, right to choose threatened, marches for justice.

Scales – actual measuring scales, two cups.

Justice, Empress tarot cards. Temperance? Two of Cups could represent scales balanced, and relationships.

Dismantling patriarchy and replacing with equity and equality.

Male – blue

Female – pink

The book HEXING THE PATRIARCHY has a cool spell using Mother Spider descending on the White House and spinning all patriarchs into balls.

Spinning…wool…wool balls….one representing women, one men….no, non-binary, remember.

Blue and black wool tangled, knotted, dominating, a big mess. Representing the patriarchy. Hold in your hands and name it ‘patriarchy’, and patriarchs across time and space, speak their names into the ball of wool. Name institutions. Imbed all that in the ball of wool.

Call upon Universal energy rather than a God or Goddess? Or call upon the Goddess? Maat? Are we, as women, clean-handed when it comes to patriarchal views imbedded in us? Likely not. Maat cannot be our choice then.

From wikipedia: Inanna[a] is an ancient Mesopotamian goddess associated with love, beauty, sex, war, justice and political power. She was originally worshiped in Sumer under the name “Inanna”, and was later worshipped by the AkkadiansBabylonians, and Assyrians under the name Ishtar.[b] She was known as the “Queen of Heaven” and was the patron goddess of the Eanna temple at the city of Uruk, which was her main cult center. She was associated with the planet Venus and her most prominent symbols included the lion and the eight-pointed star. Her husband was the god Dumuzid (later known as Tammuz) and her sukkal, or personal attendant, was the goddess Ninshubur (who later became the male deity Papsukkal).

The Moirai or the Fates: thread, scissors, wool, measurement of a life, ending of life, ending a cycle.

Imbuing scissors with the power of the universe, speaking into them your intentions.

Cutting the threads of patriarchy, leaving only one long strand of black and one long strand of blue. Weaving them in with strands of pink, green for grounding, blue for expression and healing, purple for universal consciousness.

Shirley Maclaine spoke of Atlantean society being ungendered until experiments split beings into two. Not very hopeful to call on the energy of Atlantis. It fell.

What to do with the plaited or woven strand? How to release it into the world safely? Not into waterways.

Full Moon in Libra research

Yasmin Boland – Moonology Diary

Moon in the place of partnerships and relationships. Surrender any relationship difficulties to the Divine. On your altar place a photo of the person with whom you have a relationship. Raise your vibration with some beautiful music and candles, and drop some essential oils onto your palms. Add a picture of the Libra Goddess Lakshmi or Archangel Jophiel, or an image of anyone you resonate with. With your hands in prayer position, say: ‘I surrender my relationship with X to the Divine. Thankyou for guiding me.”

Questions to ask at this full moon: Why am I hanging on to anger about what X did/didn’t do to me? What would love do in this relationship?

Moon Power by Simone Butler

Libra is the the lovers’ sign.

Ancient Libra Moon Goddess: Inanna. Sumerian love and fertility goddess. Said to be the life blood of the Earth. Most prominent female deity in Mesopotamia as far back as 4000 BCE. Inanna is associated with the planet Venus (where is this information confirmed?). Love and connectedness. Also Goddess of war, she had to balance the scales of her two sides. Invoke Inanna when you need a fresh start, strength, when the Moon is in Libra. Eat pomegranate seeds in her honour, and affirm you’ll make it through this trying time. (Linked to imagery of Persephone, and the Inanna story of descending to the Underworld.)

Inanna’s sacred animal: lioness. Though her roar is not as thunderous as the male, it is still powerful. Social etiquette and groups important to the lioness. If a lioness is disinclined to meet and greet in ritual, she is likely to be booted out of the pride. Call on the lioness to strengthen your marriage, invoke protection for your children, or mend a problematic relationship.

Full Moon ritual: trance dance. We are made of energy and our energetic tendrils connect with everyone we come into contact with. To celebrate the connection-oriented Libra Full moon, when the Sun is in energetic Aries, do a trance dance, and ancient way of achieving oneness consciousness. Music that has a hypnotic drum rhythm.

From Pintereset

On this full moon I request divine energetic assistance to help me sever all cords to anyone or anything that consistently lowers me vibration, intends me harm, causes chaos, drains me, or blocks my flow of blessings. I ask for the strength to walk way from whatever isn’t meant for me and for inner peace, harmony, healthier connections and for more positive opportunities to open up so that mentally and spiritually I can heal, grow and glow. Sending gratitude for the love and abundance coming my way. (Affirm for 48 hours before and after full moon.) – Alex Myles

From smallspells.com

In addition to relationships and partnerships, Libra rules the aspects of life that are artful and aesthetic, that seek out harmony and balance. It also rules the balancing of light and dark, of “good” and “bad”: always searching for a neutral, or pleasing, spot in the middle, where our energies can rest in contentment. The movement of our actions, from internal to external, is also a Libra aspect—considering how actions have consequences and effects that vibrate out. This brings us back to our partnerships, when the actions of our lives have direct effects on the lives of those we are in intimate partnership with, for instance, those we live with.

From The Hoodwitch

Use this moon for matters pertaining to: justice and fairness; partnership; love/self care rituals; balance and diplomacy; healing.

With the moon in Libra focus on relationships, and artistic pursuits. All of your partnership activities will be heightened during this Moon. For those who are not in partnerships, there may be heightened feelings of loneliness, but be aware of superficial bonding to ease the pain/ fear of loneliness. The moon being in Libra it is an excellent time to throw a gathering  with close friends. During this time, it’s important to find balance. Enjoy a simple celebration with others, but also leave some time for healing work.

An excellent preventative measure during the Libra moon that we can do for our bodies and especially onour kidneys is drinking plenty of fresh water between the hours of 3 and 7pm in order to give the kidneys and bladder a good “rinse through”. Nettle tea, is also a really soothing aid for the bladder and kidneys. Exercises for the pelvic region are also particularly beneficial at this time.

Essential oils: rose geranium, sandalwood, jasmine, neroli, clary sage.

Crystals: aquamarine, calcite, rose quartz, smoky quartz.

The Goddess Diana

When I was young, say about eight, I started thinking I wanted to change my name to ‘Diane’. I don’t know where that came from, but it was there. I wanted to be ‘Diane’. Then, a Diane Selby started attending my primary school, and I had a big girl crush on her. Probably age 10 I think. I definitely wanted to be named Diane. My whole life would make sense, and I wouldn’t be so hyper-aware of everything, I wouldn’t be able to hear other people’s thoughts, and I could be normal. I don’t think I had the words for all that then, but I definitely had the yearnings and feelings for it.

I wanted to be Diane all the way through my teens and into my twenties. I started turning towards the pagan path, and became aware of the Goddess in Her many guises. I made many offerings to Aphrodite, but rarely did I interact with Diana or Artemis. I was married, had two tiny children, and thought that if anything, I should be working with Aphrodite, Hera, and Hestia.

I began my Reiki Master training. My Master asked me to contribute to a spirit drawing project, drawing images of energies representing various goddesses. I was so freaked out by post-natal depression, motherhood, a failing marriage, and strong yearning for I didn’t know what(security, wanderlust, freedom, liberation, wildness) that I immediately started almost hammering the energies of Pele and Kali into the drawing pad.

Then came the silver and blue energy of Diana, and I felt a Presence giving me very close attention. I had only just become aware of the magical practice of aspecting, although I didn’t know the name of it then. I felt that the Goddess Diana was giving me a very close inspection to see if I might house Her energy.

I was frightened. Didn’t aspecting Diana mean I’d have to sacrifice my marriage and children, and live a single life? I didn’t even like dogs that much. I didn’t like running. Who was I to aspect the Goddess.

I knew this was an opportunity, and one I’d likely been heading towards for years. The hints were all there. I turned it down. I could not bring myself to say yes. I thought it would mean too big a change in my life, and a betrayal of my mothering values. In the back of my head, I carried that ‘no thankyou’ and the accompanying guilt for many years. I’m now 57.

In recent times, I’ve become aware that people have Patron Gods and Matron Goddesses. They are chosen, rather than choosing. I remembered the silent question Diana put to me. I’ve started asking if Diana is still with me, still interested. I’ve started looking for signs. Now, the Goddesses know I’m not the most observant person when it comes to signs. And I do ask that signs be pretty bloody obvious.

Two days ago, I was doing a quick inspection of my Junk mail folder, checking that no vital emails were hiding there. I get a lot of Junk mail for fake casinos, occasional Nigerian princes, and swathes of girls wanting to have sex with me. Rachel seems to feature heavily. However, this time, the heading was “??Diana??”. In bold. I couldn’t miss it.

So yes, Diana is still with me, and still asking. And once I’ve done some more reading and research, I may well be ready to step into hosting Her. We shall have to have some chats about it first, though.