Biddy Tarot spread.
Star Spinners Tarot.
1. What insights did I gain in 2020 around what I want to achieve in 2021? Justice. Value and pursue what is right, not what is popular. Despite a ‘friend’ telling me that I’m wasting my time with my memoir, it’s important to me, so I’m carrying on. Also, Justice can point just as much towards balance as can Temperance. I learned not to go all out on anything.
2. Which areas of my life might benefit from creating a sense of order. 3 of Wands. Planning. I don’t have many actual plans and goals any more. Nebulous ideas and ideas, but this card is asking for big picture ideas.
3. How can I best support my financial goals this year? The Emperor. Concrete plans, clear eyed goals and aims. Where do I want to be in a year? With $4000 saved – $1000 for me, and $1000 for each grandchild into their coming of age trust funds.
4. What goals do I want to achieve in the next six months? 4 of Coins. Stability and control. Invest in experiences that bring joy, but save financially. I do want to be more of a tourist in my own state, see nature, be in it, and that’s free. Experience things in a way that don’t feel like missing out.
5. What kind of structure do I need to establish to support those goals? The Hermit. When I’m working, I’m inside, working. When I’m in the world, I’m in it. Taking time out on any adventure to sit, be, look, listen.
6. Which grounding practices would best support me this year? 5 of Swords. What the fuck? The hollow victory card? The betraying your own morals card? More elaboration please. Strength/fortitude. Courage. Ah, so that ju jitsu one-on-one training is the right thing. Thanks. But what’s with the Swords?
This spread used with gratitude from the Biddy Tarot Planner 2021.
Modern Witch Tarot – mass market edition.
- What were my biggest achievements for 2020? 3 of Pentacles. The Mistress Craftswoman card. Here, we see an established artist instructing a younger woman in drawing. This is mastery of craft, and passing on what you know. I finished a draft of my first memoir, and I found that I did, indeed, have it in me, even though I was pretty broken afterwards. This unhealthy attitude, and work practice is non sustainable for me, and I have to find another way. I learned that I have a small amount of natural artistic talent and I undertook to explore that during lockdown. What did I pass on to others? I established a Moon Circle online for celebrating the full moons in witchly style. I also passed on some of my writing knowledge to a friend.
- What were my biggest challenges for 2020? 4 of Wands. Finding fun and relaxation. In this card, we see two young people who have wandered away from the responsibilities and strictures of the city, and are enjoying some time out, having fun, walking in nature. I made 2020 a work, work, work year. Even Paint By Numbers became something to ‘get done’. It was hard to have ‘time out’ during lockdown, and I didn’t, much. Paying for it now. I hope I remember this lesson as I venture into 2021. I need play.
- How have I developed as a person? The Hermit. I have more fully embraced my introvert nature, and find that I prefer time alone to rushing about. But even in lockdown, I kept myself very busy, and this isn’t good for me. I now know I can put bum on seat and get the writing done. But I am still on a journey to learn balance. The pentacle the Hermit is wearing is a reminder to me that I can use magic to help me find balance. Shut down the computer more often, and be with myself.
- What did I learn in 2020? The World. The world needs fixing. So much of what I find difficult about it has been brought into clarity by 2020. My own life, my own little world, needs to change to more fully meet what I want and love. I also learned that this toxic isolation gig I have going on serves no one. There are people in the world ready to help me, if I let go of trauma-induced toxic isolation, and fear-based backing away.
- How would I describe 2020 in just 3 words? Queen of Pentacles. Sanctuary, productive, contemplative.
- What aspects of 2020 can I leave behind? 2 of Wands. Yearning for greener pastures, dreams of overseas travel, obsessive planning and then disappointing myself, and personally, thinking I can go back to old ways of teaching and earning money. My heart isn’t in it.
- What aspects of 2020 can I bring with me into 2021? The High Priestess. My tarot play, my sharing of knowledge, my magical deepening, moon connection and moon circle, being still. I have been a Priestess all my life, and must recognise now, that at nearly 57, I am a High Priestess, living Priestess, walker between worlds, witch, knowledge-keeper.
- What new seeds and opportunities are being planned? 7 of Wands. All those seeds of doubt, and jealousy over the success of others are still there, waiting for me to give them my time and attention. They are ready to sprout into full being. Well, they can fuck off. Here’s the warning, Satya. You ain’t got time for that rubbish any more.
This spread is courtesy of Biddy Tarot, using the Way of The Panda tarot deck. @fablesden
1. How can I embody peace and tranquility? Justice. Balance between action and stillness. Define your sacred space, and defend it.
2. What does nature have to teach me at this time? Knight of Wands. Break through barriers. Look at how trees do it, water, how air slowly escapes from a balloon, how fire does it. Learn. Walk somewhere new.
3. How can I savour the simple pleasures in life? King of Wands. Dream, create, with ease, Joy, simplicity. Ignore the dramas you have around creativity.
4. What new, empowering habits can I introduce into my days? Page of Swords. Curiosity, explore interesting questions.
5. What activities will help me to become more grounded in my physical self? Five of Swords. Face confrontation rather than run from it.
6. What is my highest intention for my inner contentment? Fool. Explore, adventure, seek. You aren’t finished travelling yet.
Mandala Layout: The path to achieve true happiness.
(Not that I know or can visualise what that might be.)
As an Australian witch and pagan, I reversed not only the order in which I dealt the first 4 cards, but I transposed north and south. Down Under, the further north, the hotter, the further south, the colder it gets. I cast circle widdershins to follow the direction of the Sun.
I explored the two positive-seeming paths indicated by the first four cards: North(the gut path, the passion path), and West(the heart path).
1. What does this choice of direction mean to me? 3 of Wands. The gut path, for me, is one of expansion. Yes, it’s always a gut feeling that I need to be somewhere, explore a particular path, go with a sudden passion (such as this current tarot jag).
2. What gift will I receive from following this path? The Moon. A further lesson in illusion, by not also using my head, and common sense. Nothing, Satya, no trip is going to be the whole answer to what you seek.
3. What challenge will I face by following this path? The Sun. Too much of a good thing? Exhausting myself by grabbing at everything without discernment.
4. What is the final result of following this path? Page of Wands. The naive page is me, stepping, thinking I know. At least you have this recognition.
1. What does this choice of direction mean to me? Queen of Cups. Heart decisions are everything to me. I used to identify as the Queen of Cups until I grew into the more Capricornian Queen of Pentacles. There’s still a lot of Cups in me, though. So the heart path, along with the gut path, are my go-to, with head and practicality reluctantly coming along.
2. What gift will I receive from following the heart path? King of Pentacles. My husband Bill will understand this more than the gut path, that’s for sure.
3. What challenge will I face by following this path? Ace of Swords. As new information comes to light, I’ll be swayed by it, unless I go back to beginner’s mind each time, and trust what my heart is saying.
4. What is the final result of following this path? 2 of Cups. Partnership. By opening my heart wide in decision making, and including Bill, I cement our relationship.
Career: what is important to me, and why?
I decided to go with the example in the book, but I could have easily asked about books, tarot, belly dance.
Writing career: what does it mean it me, and why? 3 of Swords and Strength. What’s the saying? Break a writer’s heart and out comes a book. In the past, and to some extent now, my writing is me dealing with life’s heartbreaks, my puzzlement and outrage at human choices, and my own deepest, darkest impulses. To get them on the page, and make them dance for me does give me a feeling of strength, understanding, sometimes power, sometimes mean satisfaction.
Peer respect: what does it mean to me, and why? High Priestess and Ace Of Pentacles. Again and again, the High Priestess. This could be seen as ego here, or that I want acknowledgement that I am good at what I do. Why? Because I feel like a beginner, that the industry, and the ways of storytelling have changed, and I’m a dinosaur from ages ago.
Publication: what does it mean to me, and why? 4 of Pentacles and 2 of Cups. I’m drawing a bit of a blank with 4P, but to scrape at an outside meaning, it may indicate that I need to see all publication, including my blog, fanzines, and non paying markets as publication, and not restrict my ideas to money as worth. Why is publication important? I equate it with being loved. Oh good grief. Well, yes, if I’m revealing my insecure, unloved child self.
Brain integration: (I once explained my feeling of power, rightness, confidence, and utter wellness when I’ve written, in one sitting, a short story that feels right. A psych said that was brain integration.) what does it mean to me, and why? The Sun, and 3 of Pentacles. Yes. When it does happen, I do feel lit up inside, as though I’m a sunflower blooming, walking without touching the ground. It’s important because insecurity tells me I’m a beginner, but brain integration says that my apprenticeship is over, and I’m a Master/High Priestess of my craft.
Craft Mastery: what does this mean to me, and why? 3 of Cups and The World. I’ve been a writer all my life, loving story as soon as I knew what it was Mum was reading to me, making up stories with my dolls(instead of a nap, my dolly Sarah, and Teddy were mountain climbers over my knees), and writing fan fiction from age 10. I have good reason to celebrate my writing, and yes, being as far along the track as I am, even with insecurity and beginner’s mind, gives me the world.
Expressing my deepest-held feelings: 9 of Pentacles and The Lovers. Writing is the one way this Aspie ambivert can truly get the inside stuff out. Everything is inside, and I present a happy serene face to the world, while inside is a maelstrom. Why is expressing these feelings important? Nothing better than someone saying ‘yes, me too’. Again, it’s all about acknowledgement and love, and acceptance despite the maelstrom.
How To Achieve My Dream Future
(Especially as I haven’t envisioned it much beyond yesterday’s High Priestess Pull).
Today, I’ve swapped to the Robin Wood deck, just because I wanted to. Ah, these familiar dears. My working deck for 20 years.
Could I have pulled any more Major Arcana Cards? Wow.
Where I am now: I chose the 4 of Swords because I’m still deep in exhaustion, possible fibromyalgia, anxiety, lethargy, and am still medicated for depression. I am heavier than I want to be, and am addicted to sugar, in particular, chocolate. All this adds up to a woman who wants to lie on the couch reading.
Step 1: Judgement. Stand up. Just stand up out of the muck. Recognise that I have been in muck for a long time, and stand up. Let old energies fall away. So, first step is to do some more tie cuts, more Reiki on myself, and for heavens sakes, start by swapping out 2 cups of tea per day for water, now that it’s Spring.
Step 2: Justice. A balanced approach, which I know belongs more to a Temperance interpretation. There are no pending legal or financial matters, so I’m taking this to mean addressing my sprinter nature. Allow myself the sprints, but shorter ones, so I’m not so knocked out at the end of one. Writing, dance, tarot, yoga, walks, gym, etc. Do them, but in shorter sessions.
Step 3: 3 of Wands. Now it!s time for goal setting, turning my gaze to the horizon, raising a few ambitions. Really? The third step? I would have thought second. Writing – pick 3 markets. Dance – create one choreography for the Summer Dreams February performance opportunity. Tarot – continue to play a little 4 days a week. Yoga – up it to 2 sessions a week. Walks – regular daily, plus 1 new walking place per week. Gym – keep to one session until you see how the increased yoga and dance settle in. Remember my spoon levels.
4.The Hanged Man. Take a new perspective, and give myself time to really think it through.
5. Knight of Pentacles. Solid slow progress, all within my sprint bubble. Consistency is the answer.
Where I want to be: The World, and the High Priestess. An integrated life, and a spiritual one. Magic and the material world as one.
Where do I truly want to be in five years’ time?
What do I want to achieve? High Priestess. The integration of my spiritual self with my everyday, seeing everything as holy and magical. Being able to lead by example. To accept that my writing, tarot, Reiki, dance, carer, mother, wife, grandmother, and all the other labels are part of one magical being.
Who do I want to be? The traveller. Lol. Just when I thought I was getting beyond this rushing around. In terms of the HP, though, it could mean making the journey to integration, and taking that to the world.
What do I want to conquer? My fear of being alone. That I can meditate, that I can be alone, still, and that’s okay. A small life is good, too.
What do I need to know? 10 of Cups. I have all the tools I need. Abundance, safety, pleasure. Rest is part of evolution, too.
What do I need to do? 6 of Wands. Light my own way. Remind myself often if all the goals I’ve already achieved – professional writer, books published, blurb by Ray Bradbury, blurb by Elizabeth Moon, workshop with Marge Piercy, remarried, children grown and happy, Reiki Master, columnist, professional belly dancer, pro belly dance teacher, travel, pro tarot reader.
Where do I truly want to be in a year’s time?
What is my dream? The Lovers. A deeper connection with myself, and with Bill. A deep exploration of love. Yes! Oh yes!
How do I achieve this? The Hanged Man. Stop doing and start being – with yourself, with him. Sacrifice your busy-ness for time alone, and time together to connect.
Where am l?
Path: 6 of Cups. Spending far too much time mucking about in the past. It’s done. There are things needing your attention in the present. Your time with psychologists who want to endlessly dig up your childhood and the faults of your parents is done.
Progress: Strength. You are moving forward with strength, under a clear sky. The important part is not the destination, which you know you can’t yet see, but that finally, a shift is happening, and yes, without enough rest in between sprints, you have the strength for it.
What influences affect my life?
My influence over others: 6 of Swords, Ace Of Wands, 5 of Cups. An uneasy journey. You are never comfortable around others, always on guard. What would happen if you chose differently? You feel everyone is hiding their true self, and it makes you uneasy, yet you hide your true self. You are a catalyst for others, asking difficult questions, inspiring. Yet you do not let them touch you. Go back to beginner,s Mind, to when others could inspire you. You let the scroll of social media bring you down, when there is still so much good in the world.
My influence over others: 4 of Swords, Temperance, The Devil. Your home environment is relaxing and calming to others, and you could well lead by showing how to rest, and by doing so, learn it yourself. You are able to lead others into balance moderation, reflection. You also know that you are a master manipulator, and can turn other people with your words. Try not to do that, dear, at least not with the blackness in your heart that always lurks and must be leashed.