Poem – Gentleman Doctor

After reading MEDICINE by Tony Hoagland.

I was not in love

with my gentleman doctor,

even though he always wore a suit and tie,

and had honest-to-gods leather elbow patches

on his tweed jacket that was hung neatly on a hanger

on the coat rack in his office.

Even though he called me Mrs Patrice,

which was nice,

him thinking I was married

when I wasn’t, and when I was,

and was a Ms.

Even though his tone,

when he called me,

was the same one I use for my dear little dog

when I’m asking him to ‘Come along, Puppington J. Puppy,

my little wee man’.

Even though he has a medical degree

and is one of those people who

‘know a thing or two,

and don’t imagine pain’.

My doctor had no drawings his children made

on the white walls of his surgery –

quite rightly keeping his private life private.

Instead, enlarged photos of every trip

he’d ever taken were framed

and placed five inches apart

on those walls,

but high enough so that only tall men,

like him,

could see them well.

Even though he sat through our consultations

with a slight Pan Am smile on his face,

and a finger across his lips,

in case he tell me how much I was amusing him.

He was very polite to not say that.

Even though he refused some blood tests,

because curiosity, and crying from exhaustion

weren’t enough,

he said, and he knew, after all,

because he was the doctor.

He was right –

he was the one with the qualifications,

and my puny degree in Arts,

and another long study of being in my body,

were fun coupons to clip out of advertising material.

I wasn’t in love with my gentleman doctor,

and I don’t think he ever understood why.

*****

That was an unexpected poem. Never say you don’t have something to write about. That dickhead doctor probably deserves a whole suite of poems on his dickheadedness, but frankly, I don’t want to give him the airspace.

“This is just a fishing expedition,” he said, looking at the list of tests my naturopath wanted me to have. “If you look, you’ll find something. Those of us who have an education can hone in on what the problem is. I’ll order iron studies, and a thyroid screen.”

Turns out, my iron was fine. My thyroid was all but dead (“a little under average, here’s thyroxine”), my auto-immune system had turned on my thyroid, my inflammatory markers were off the chart, I had arthritis in my left shoulder creeping down my arm, little to no ‘juice’ left in my knees, and and and. It took a female doctor, a naturopath, and two specialists to start sorting me out.

I didn’t pay my male doctor’s last bill. I told him to go fuck himself instead.

Poem: Why I Write Free Verse

I pinched this via Ron’s blog. Ron participates in the dVerse poetry group. It’s a poetic form unfamiliar to me.

The Origins:
Zéjel is a Spanish form with Arabic influence related to the Qasida and adopted by the Spanish troubadours of 15th century.

The Big Picture:
The Zéjel is distinguished by linking rhyme established in the opening mudanza (strophe in which the theme is established in a mono-rhymed triplet).

The Details
>> Syllabic, most often written in 8 syllable lines.
>> Stanzaic, opening with a mono-rhymed triplet followed by any number of quatrains.
>> Rhymed, the rhyme of the opening mudanza establishes a linking rhyme with the end line of the succeeding quatrains. Rhyme scheme: aaa bbba ccca etc.

*****

Form ain’t my thing, don’t make me sing,

to the table I rarely bring

structured poems. I want to take wing.

Stuffing words into sockets hard,

shoving meter around like lard.

Kidding myself I am a bard?

Into the sea this poem I fling?

*****

And now we see why, dear readers, I’m a free-verser. That was more painful than pulling teeth.

Ostara Divination: September 2021

Ostara card spread courtesy of Muses of Mystery. Ostara Tarot used. Blue cornflower tea taken to aid divinatory practices on the day of the Spring Equinox. Hail Persephone! Hail Demeter! Hail the Maiden coupled to the Sun God!

1.What do I need to bring back the balance to my life after the cold winter months? 5 of Swords. A green snake twines around 5 swords stabbed into a beach or sea. Conflict that saps energy, reaching for the unattainable – to grab at the nearest sword would be to get bitten. Shift perspective and walk away. In other words, stop yearning for increased energy and dynamism at a time when the world’s energy is at an all-time low. Covid, lockdown, exhaustion, fear – energy sappers. Turn my attention to other things.

1a. What part of me is ready to be reborn? Justice. A very Egyptiancard, a goddess rising from a river, winged, carrying golden scales of justice. A human heart is being weighed on the scales. Maat. I won’t get a gold medal for pushing energy in any direction. I’m ready for the reaction of 3 months of intense creative poetic energy to ease off now, and again, just be for a while. Apparently I need to be hit over the head with this message.

2. What do I need to focus my time and energy on in order to grow? 3 of Wands. Options. A frog sits in a pond watching three ships caught in a whirlpool. Possibilities. No snatching at the moment just contemplation of opportunities and possibilities for future directions. No action needed at the moment, which seems in opposition to burgeoning Spring all around me, but totally suits the frame of body and mind that I’m in.

3. How do I break through the hard shell holding me back? 7 of Cups. A masked woman carries a tray of spilling cups. She is surrounded by masked figures/animals, and is the centre of their attention. Acknowledgement and the centre of attention are illusions. Worldly success means little here, it’s imaginary. Breaking through the hard shell around me means being soft, dropping my masks as best I can, paying attention to the details of what I’m doing, and not worrying about what others think. Easy to say, dear tarot, after 57 years of autism high masking.

3a. How do I open myself to transformation? The World. The world forms from stardust and heat. Pure creation, gravity pulling everything together to make a whole. Allow myself to be pulled along for now, sticking my nose into whatever appeals. The next surge of creativity will come, but not yet. The world inside me is still being formed. To transform, I have to let myself be carried along various paths until something speaks up. Gravity, natural selection, again possibilities.

4. What awakens within and around me to nourish and support? The Empress. How many more times are you going to show up in readings, dear? I get it, you’re my soul and life card for this lifetime. The Empress crouches amongst ferns, allowing life force to flow from her into plants. A small bird nests in her hair. Earth Mother energy. Enjoying my Spring garden, as I am doing, seems to be exactly the right thing to be doing at the moment. Good. I shall carry on.

5. What new journeys will I embark on? Queen of Coins. A mother figure rests with a child, whilst goats surround. A shield to the fore, herbs above. Nurturing and protecting myself are the focus here, not new journeys. Perhaps an journey to my inner child, to protect and nurture her. Capricornian goats. A time of being a stickybeak goat, following my nose quietly, nurturing self. Spring can be busy, but not me.

5a. What new opportunities are on their way? 2 of Swords. A blindfolded blue jay rests on its nest, which is balanced on two crossed swords. Awkward position. One false shift, and everything’s tumbling. No opportunities right now. Being still. No movement for me. Indecision is not forever, it’s a salve right now. I don’t have to decide anything, sign up for anything, action anything. Just Be. Just Be. Just Be.

Trans Cranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy – update 22/9/21

It’s a long way from April to September. I began acute treatments in April, transitioned to maintenance in June, I think, and eased back from 4 treatments a week, to 3, to 2, and now 1. On Friday I have a review with the in-house, or house-brand psychiatrist to see how I’m going. I had hopes of reducing back to once a fortnight, but my most recent scores on the Beck Depressive Inventory, and the other 2 surveys I fill out (I’ll have to ask their names) indicate that I’ve gone a little downhill. It’s situational – basically, fuck lockdown and covid, and curfews, and restrictions, and the 10km from home radius limit, and social bubbles, and masking, and same old, same old. This doesn’t seem to be the opportune time to reduce my treatment.

I’m not fretting though. I’m in the extremely fortunate position to be able to continue maintenance treatments, and taper off at a later date. I don’t know – maybe the psych will see my dip as temporary and trial me on once per two weeks. I’ll see on Friday. What I have the luxury of that many don’t is that I get to choose.

A friend asked me today about the details of TMS, including costing, and when I told her, she said: “Oh, there’s just no way my friend can access that.” Even with Medicare refunding part of the cost, and Medicare, come November, starting to completely cover the first 15 treatments, it’s still a costly exercise.

This makes TMS elitist, and something for the Haves. This doesn’t sit well with me. Which doesn’t mean I’m going to quit in solidarity with the Have Nots. I have the opportunity to squeeze the absolute best result out of this, and I’m determined to do so.

I’ve started my yogic breathing techniques again at night, as part of my relaxation regime, I’m limiting screen time after 8pm, and making sure I have things mentally popped into every day so that I’m not drifting. I have outside time each day, and currently, I’m doing some gardening. I’m not sure how many more seeds, seedlings, bulbs, and plants I can stuff into the garden, but I’m going to do my best to create an absolute jungle that will make any permaculture person cry.

All in all, treatment is going well, and I’m still in a much better place than I was in April.

How I Read Tarot – instructional

A day late, and reading in the early evening instead of the morning. This morning was full of human beings chattering about the Australian eastern earthquake, like we were all lorikeets squawking away.

I’m reading with the Fountain Tarot, and since it’s just me again, I’m asking what the origin of my current slight increase in my depression and anxiety is. (As if I don’t know that it’s lockdown, covid, etc, but one never knows, there could be a hidden reason.)

To receive a more detailed message, I’m going for three cards this time.

3 of Wands, 2 of Wands, 10 of Swords.

3 of Wands: traditionally, the 3 of Wands speaks to the energy of Fire(Wands are fire cards), and to planning, determination, momentum, confidence, and looking ahead. Well, for the duration, I’ve given up on planning, and looking ahead. I won’t start planning trips, or big projects or anything of the sort until there’s a good chance of them happening. I don’t want undue pressure on myself, or disappointment. This card, in this deck, shows a man exerting great effort to achieve his aims. Focussed effort. The muted colours are typical of this deck, and the yellow typical of the wands cards. To me, at first glance, it looks like someone pulling a red, wormy rope out of a cocktail glass. I don’t drink, but it’s a timely warning to not drown myself in any sort of addiction. The gap between what I want to be doing(effort, momentum, planning) and what I’m currently capable of (a more drifting unplanned life) chafes me.

2 of Wands: traditionally, the 2 of Wands is about taking risks, planning, stepping out, first steps in a new direction, leaving comfort. It aligns with the 3 of Swords, which is slightly further along the path. In the Fountain Tarot deck, again we have yellow tones, but more muted than the 3 of Swords, with more blue and green hues. A hand holds two wands in a sort of chopsticks hold, with a crystal ball balanced on the meat of the hand. The little booklet that comes with the deck says this card is about choosing one thing over another. “You only have enough energy to develop one well.” Optimism, boldness, choosing, the world in your hands. Oh, dear tarot, if I had the energy to choose, I’d choose. I’d sally forth to research lyric, hermit crab, and braided essays until the cows came home. But you understand that despite your best intentions for me, I simply don’t have that mental energy right now. That too bugs me. And things that bug me are a drain on my energy levels.

10 of Swords: that old stab in the back, a disaster at hand. Well yes, it’s pandemic, sweetheart. Ruin, failure, exhaustion, betrayal, collapse. I am exhausted, hence the lower scores on my six-weekly surveys from TMS Australia. The child in me feels betrayed by nasty old germs and viruses. How dare it come along to spoil my life. How dare it sneak up on me and stab me in the back. Yes, my plans for 2020-21 have been ruined, just like everyone else. And like everyone else, I’m pouting. The card shows a nude person with swords running through them. They are bent over, defeated, in pain. Yes, I’ve felt all that. A situation that has, in my mind, gone past bearing, and has become very old. Yes, and yes, and yet there’s nothing to do but keep bearing up.

Putting together the Fire and Air of these cards, and having them correlated to energy and thought, it’s the constant background drag of lockdown and pandemic that’s wearing me thin, and dragging my energy down. Humans, including me, are not built to be under this much constant stress. I know I’m not the only one puttering to a standstill, and this reading is pretty much what I thought it would be. The collective energy around me, and the current uselessness of planning means I’m spinning my wheels and my inner self knows it. No amount of gardening, walks, macro photography, tarot play, or housepainting completely blocks out the state of the world. There are daily reminders, and the low level stabbing feeling of ‘another brick in the wall’.

If I came to this reading blind, without the knowledge of my own situation, if it was a reading for a stranger and the world wasn’t pandemicked, then I would say: “Oh, hon, you’re doing it to yourself. You don’t feel able to plan, dream, take steps, venture out from your comfort zone. You’re stabbing yourself repeatedly with destructive thoughts. You might even have reverted to old habits that hurt you. That’s why you feel so low.”

*****

I hope this small reading has given you some insight into how I read and interpret, how I pull a story together. I wish you luck on looking at, and reading your own cards. Maybe pull these three cards from your deck and see if you can make a story out of them. Depending on your belief system and training and learning, you may or may not incorporate the qualities of the elements represented, or have colour associations. Good luck, tarot-curious, and I’ll see you next week. Who knows – maybe someone will volunteer to ask a question. Otherwise, it will continue to be all about me, me, me.

Poem: Skating On Words

Next Wednesday, Magaly will ask us to write poetry or prose which includes one (or all 3) of the following phrases: 1. “Happy and strange words are my home.” 2. “I see you.” 3. “Reason is music to a jaded heart.” – Poetry and Storytellers United newsletter.

It’s not Wednesday yet, but as I’m contemplating an insane move to open up new writing in myself(a 6 week course in lyric hybrid essays, bc I am totally unfamiliar), I thought I’d calm my farm a little by poeming here.

Happy and strange words are my home,

but they march in ordered ranks,

the usual configurations

with no ice skating backflip Biellmann axels.

Unhappy words are what I skim across.

I don’t invite them in,

but they seem to have wild card entries

to all events.

Humourous essays turn dark,

too personal for my own good,

and are banned to the sidelines,

told to be quiet and let the experts

do their Olympic thing.

To take words and make them slant,

zigzag, salchow, and Shoot-The-Duck

would be to be someone else

whose mind flows,

not lives in a padded box

made for skates.

Guidance For Magical Me – 19/9/21- 26/9/21

I am so exhausted from lockdown and the threat of covid that I’m changing up this week’s Guidance reading to be just for me. Sorry, magical folx, I can’t extend my energy to encompass anyone else this week. You’ll note that the post is already two days late, due to executive disfunction, exhaustion, and brain fritzing.

The Moon is waxing to Full from Sunday to Tuesday, then waning again through to next Saturday.

Full Moon in Pisces this time around, then waning through Aries, Taurus and Gemini.

There is also the Equinox on Wednesday 22nd. Spring for my Southern Hemisphere, Autumn for the Northern Hemisphere.

What magic can I work this week specifically to address this whole body exhaustion, and mind fritz? Never mind the greater good of the world and magical people? This is MY biggest issue, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

I’m using the Animal Wisdom Tarot as part of my Spring Celebrations, another animal-based deck.

Cow – The Empress. Earth Mother. Is this deck being rude to me? Cow? Really? I know I’ve put on some covid kilos, but sheesh!

Anyway, the Empress speaks to true nurturance. Not the ‘take a bubble bath, drink some wine, eat chocolate, watch Netflix’ stuff recommended by magazines having a self-care themed month. True self care, which is a long term plan. It means saying no, having boundaries, changing things up to get the rest you need. If you’ve been putting off seeing a health or mental health professional, this is the sort of care that’s needed.

The advice to myself here is to slow down even more, be gentle and kind, quit Capricornian pushing. Drift for a while. No harm done if I do. I won’t get a medal for coming out the other side of lockdown with a fully painted house, magnificent garden, decluttered everything. I can Slow Down And Take It Easy.

And with that slowing down, some slow candle gazing, I think. Mindfulness, quiet, calm. That’s truly about all the the energy I have for this week, and The Empress comes forward to say ‘that’s okay’.

Maybe this applies to you, too. Slow down even more, take time. Have the bath if that’s what you want, but Cow advises that it’s time, with the watery full moon upon us, to address our deep needs and emotions. Pisces isn’t the best times to consider boundaries, because watery Pisces has none. Pisces is water without a container, endlessly flowing and spreading. Perhaps wait until the moon is in Taurus for looking at what you want to keep out and away from you. By the time the Moon is waning in Taurus, we could all use that waning energy to say ‘be gone’ to unwanted thoughts, people, and energies.

Here’s hoping I’m feeling a wee bit better next week.

Trans Cranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy – update 15/9/21

A day early, because I’m on the computer, on my blog, and thought I might as well get all my scheduled entries done this morning.

I had TMS yesterday. Honestly, the clinician and I couldn’t find the right spot on the right side of my head, and treatment hurt just a little all the way through the nineteen minutes of the steady tick-tick-tick. I guess my scalp got used to it, but when I paid attention to it, yeah, it was slightly painful. We tried four times to get the right spot and angle, but in the end I took the least uncomfortable spot and said: “Yeah, that’s okay-ish.” She was willing to keep going, but I just wanted it done, so I could get out and have a walk in the sunshine.

Left side of my head was, as always, more intense, and a much stronger dosage, but didn’t hurt. Discomfort yes, harder to think, so I drifted a bit, but otherwise, one hour later, all done, and I needed the walk to let the tiny muscles of my scalp go back to what they think is ‘relaxed’. Which is mighty tense at the best of times.

I felt a bit brain-dead and tired after I got home. Instead of doing some writing (why on earth do I schedule writing for afternoons, when I’m likely to be down a number of spoons of energy, and my brain has already dealt with a bunch of stuff in the morning?), I did a bit of house painting. That doesn’t require my brain to be of any use.

I’m still struggling with lockdown energy, or rather, lack of energy, but using up a couple of spoons on self-talk sees me out of bed, fed, washed, and ready to begin my day, albeit a bit later than I would ideally like.

My brain is still holding steady at no suicidal thoughts, low-lying to moderate anxiety, and a generally okay outlook on life, even though the current world situation is hard to endure.

This afternoon I do have some writing and writing offering to do, and some house painting, and then a bit of time in the garden. And walk the dog. Hopefully, my offspring will play some more music this afternoon, so I can run upstairs and dance in the hallway. It’s so much more fun to dance when they’re giving me filthy looks from their music, dancing and jumping room.

How I Read A Tarot Card – instructional

Good morning to my (day late) tarot instructional. I’m using the Children of Litha tarot, which doesn’t get enough of an outing with me. I’ve been very conscious of Ostara coming up, the Quickening of the Melbourne landscape, and the warmer days and nights. I tossed out a handful of native wildflower seeds on the weekend, and they were hammered into the soil by rain over the next two days. I’m hoping the sympathetic magic will spill over into writing success. I’m entering several competitions this week. The Moon’s waxing, so a good time to sow the seeds of what’s to come. Building energy.

So, the question I have this morning….you know, I first was going to ask if doing these weekly instructionals on how I read tarot are of any use to anyone. But I decided the answer might be too disheartening. I’m aware my blog has a small reach, and even though I share the link to FaceBook, very few take the time to read the entry.

Instead, I’m going to ask what dividends my current effort in sending my writing to competitions to journals will have, if any. Yes, I’m feeling all-over disheartened today. I slept in AGAIN, and feel soggy and overslept. Lockdown symptoms, I think.

What is the outcome of my current effort in sending my writing to competitions and journals? It’s a complex question, so I’m going to draw three cards.

Okay, it’s suddenly a five card spread, because I had three cards leap out together for my last shuffle(when doing multi-card spreads, I shuffle for each draw, which is a new habit for me, and one I’ve found to be super-effective. It re-hones my mind on the question.).

King of Cups: Cups suit is that of Water emotions, feelings, intuition. The King here is decked out in gold and black, with a hint of purple echoing the purple, or violet, of the walrus. He is the King of intuition, feeling, someone who is creative but not naive. I know full well that I am a good writer, but one who needs a bit more discipline and reining in on her whimsy. Latent ADHD has come out in the past eight years or so, and makes following a theme through to the end more of a difficulty. Thus, I need to edit my writing more carefully. This card tells me that I know full well that, even though I’m a good writer, I might not be the best, or appeal to certain editors. I know the odds, but won’t give up hope.

The Magician: an elvish creature with multiple arms and legs, wielding all four elements(pentacles, cups, swords, wands). To me, the Magician represents someone who is only just beginning to realise their own power. It’s a card that comes fairly early on in the journey of the Major Arcana and speaks to power and magic, but an immaturity, or lack of confidence also. I know this is not the usual Magician interpretation. The card speaks of gaining experience, and reading the booklet that comes with the deck, I can now see that the man is fused with a spider. Dexterity, skill, doing multiple thing at once. And yes, I do write on many fronts at once. I am currently working with creative non-fiction and poetry. But I feel this poetry phase is on the wane, and soon, another aspect of my writing will come forth. I hope it’s short story. This card tells me that I am possibly spreading myself too thin on too many fronts, but that I have the skill and dexterity needed to succeed. I am re-learning the discipline of concurrently writing, rewriting and editing, offering things to journals and competitions, and keeping track of those offerings, and doing market research. If I am careful with my energy, there is no reason why continuing to do this is not a path for me.

Queen of Cups: a woman of lush curves is accompanied by a seal, again with plenty of intuitional colours violet and purple(crown chakra, our connection to the cosmos). A crescent moon is behind her. The Queen is someone of strong emotional attachments. Am I fully prepared to endure the rough and tumble of the writing marketplace? Not at the level I dream of. I am no Angela Slatter, Stephen King, Marge Piercy. I need to work at the level I feel comfortable with. I know I am not the robust writer I used to be, so this card comes up to say ‘take it at the pace you can cope with’. Also a remark that taking a look at what I want from publication and competition winnings would help refine what it is I’m doing. Right now I’m using the splatter gun approach. Sending stuff out on the off-chance. The Moon hints that perhaps using Her energies, and some magic might not go astray.

Two of Cups: two seahorses face each other, their tails entwined. Two cups are superimposed on them. They are surrounded by pink and purple seaweeds. A card of companionship, love, harmony, union. Yes, I am married to writing for life. It’s a positive card, very much so, so is there perhaps a hint of ‘good will come of this’?

Seven of Swords: Two galahs sit on a branch, looking at each other, while down below, a black snake steals their eggs. This card indicates that I could be ignoring things that should be priorities. Well, yes, I’ve had several months to prepare something to submit to EYE TO THE TELESCOPE, and today’s the last day. I’ve created unnecessary pressure on myself. It’s also an admonition to perhaps curate my offerings a little better, instead of mostly submitting to small markets. I once told off MotorCycleMan for selling his work to the lowest bidders, and now here I am, doing the same. I am being a bit of a galah, to use a very Australian phrase. It means I’m being an idiot. (The booklet says these are love birds. They look like galahs to me.) And the snake has a red-belly. Red-bellied black snakes are venomous, but shy, slithering away from people. They are deadly to the even more venomous brown snakes, and kill and eat them. They are a necessary part of a balanced Australian eco-system. They keep the brown snake populations in check. But yes, they also eat eggs.

Ace of Wands: A fiery fairy creature looks out of the card, wand clutched in her hands. The skull of a carnivore is in her arms. Birds of Paradise flowers surround her. This card talks of a primal surge of creativity, inspiration, power, ambition, motivation. I have my creativity, but it’s feeling muted at the moment. It sounds like some magical energy is needed to kick things up to the next level. I half-laughingly note that, some years ago, I wrote a poem about a writers’ conference, where I likened it to climbing into a cage of cheetahs and other big cats. All the predators prowling around each other, being nicey-nice on the surface, but underneath, all killers. Is this card telling me I need to develop a bit more of that fiery, energetic instinct and start prowling myself, hunting down opportunities?

Have I had my question answered? It’s spoken more to my inner workings than to the actual question of results of current journal and competition offerings, so I’m going to insist on one more card that really speaks to the question. Please Children of Litha card, cough up.

7 of Pentacles: a young yak contemplates a flower rising out of what looks like snow. The season is turning, and the Quickening is in more than just the land around me. It’s in me, too, and my work. The yak knows if he eats the new shoot, the plant will never grow. Best to invest in a longer term future of burgeoning plants. The seeds I’ve sown with my writing will have, in the short term, small results, but given time, I can resurrect my career at a pace I can cope with. Perseverance, vision of the future. Small results for now, but slow and stead endurance is key.

Thankyou, tarot deck, for this clear final message.

I hope this reading helps you on your tarot journey. It’s an example of the tarot addressing issues around the issue, and when pushed, answering the darned question. Yes, it’s absolutely okay to pull qualifier cards if the spread isn’t answering what you asked. Mind you, if the qualifier card doesn’t clear things up, then either you’re not meant to know, or it’s best to pay attention to what the cards are actually saying, and attend to those issues.

Moar patience, discipline, and all those Capricornian things I have in my Sun, Mercury and Mars, but that my Venus in Aquarius, and Scorpio Moon think are a real drag.

Until next week, tarot fans, by which time, I will have sent writing to two competitions, and one journal, and have a piece of creative non-fiction underway for KNOT LITERARY JOURNAL, who are so very kind to request something for each issue.

By the way, people, my piece in KNOT, The Fog Thins, is nominated for a Pushcart Award. Just sayin’.

Guidance For Magical Folx – 12/9/21-18/9/21

Good afternoon all magical people. I’ve had a nourishing morning of attending a webinar on Victorian native pollinating insects, specifically bees. I learned how to tell the difference between a wasp, a bee, and a fly(antennae, eyes, waistline), how to make a bee hotel, and what indigenous flowers to plant to attract native bees. Hint: bees love purples and blues, whites, and pinks.

This week kicks off with a waxing Moon in Scorpio, moving into Sagittarius, and then journeys through Capricorn and Aquarius, before moving into Pisces next Saturday. Water, Fire, Earth, and Air.

Because I’m drawn to animals thanks to this mornings webinar, I’m using my Oriens Tarot Deck for the card pull for this week. It’s not a deck I use often, and is more for the artwork than readings, for me.

The Fool: look at that sweet sea turtle chipping away at its egg shell, entering the world. As yet, it is unaware of the adventure ahead of it. It is buried in sand, yet to fully emerge into the world. Its eyes are still shut, and it is going on instinct.

The first things a baby sea turtle faces is challenge – getting out of its egg, and making overland to the ocean without being eaten by birds. Sea turtles a long-lived, provided they survive, and are thus symbols of good fortune, endurance, and patience. I was fortunate to be swimming off the coast of Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii when a sea turtle surfaced beside me and swam alongside me for a while before going off about its business. A few days later, I had a small sea turtle design tattoo’d on my left ankle.

The Fool card represents the beginning of a new adventure, the innocent dreamer who takes a step forward into the unknown. In the Waite-Smith system, the card shows a young person taking a step off a cliff, while a small dog jumps at their back foot, warning them of potential danger. Meanwhile, the youth is looking up at the clouds.

If I’m honest, my initial urge into the Craft was that I was disillusioned with a solar-based male deity, and thought that the world was presenting with another model that was lunar based, and directed towards duality, or cloudiness of gender. And, I wanted to feel loved.

So, this week, I may re-examine spells of the past that were directed towards drawing love to me, and now see if a dual deity can help me feel love more deeply than I currently do. The moon is waxing, so it’s an excellent time for drawing this energy towards myself, and seeing as it’s to do with emotion(water), and lowering shields and boundaries around my heart and mind, the waxing Moon in Pisces next Saturday would be an ideal time for me.

As usual, you have the 4 elements to play with for timing of your spellwork. The moon is waxing, so draw something delicious towards you. Be The Fool – hearken back to the origins of your magical practice and see if you’ve fulfilled what you set out to learn. If you have, perhaps there’s a new way to interpret your wishes.

Have a blessed week, magical ones, and I’ll see you next week for the upcoming Full Moon in Pisces. Ultra-water time.