I’ve always said that I don’t want to do a Masters or Ph.D. in anything, and especially not my own creativity, because I’d rather not know how the magic works, in case analysis renders it sticks and ashes.
What brings me to this subject? Recently, I’ve started a year-long experiment of posting a poem a week on TikTok. A video of me reading the poem. However, 7 days between posts is a long time for the attention span of a TikTokker. I apparently may as well be consigning myself to the rubbish heap 2 days after each post.
To that end, LadyDraven(acting as my social media manager) and I have devised some occasional in-between content. Ugh, I hate calling it content. Stuff? Performances? Other pieces to the jigsaw puzzle of me?
Yesterday, she filmed me mind-mapping the word ‘wolf’ and all the associations it had for me, in the hope that something would spark off an idea.
This isn’t a common way for me to work. Usually, all the connection happen subconsciously in my head. But that’s not filmable, so we went with mind mapping.
Yes, I did spark an idea.
Today, I took myself to a cafe, and armed with chai, opened up my small shoulder bag notebook.
First attempt flopped around performing tricks, but at least I thought I knew what I was trying to say. I had a cup of chai and went at it again on a fresh page. Yes..ye-es..er..okay..ye-wtf..no.
My creative self was outraged at this non-organic way of working. My poems usually spring out of nowhere, with only a peculiar itch inside the back of my skull to warn me that ‘something is coming’.
This artificial mind-map forcing was wrong. How dare I dictate when and how and what.
In other words, I can put wolves, and werewolves, and Yellowstone, and girls wearing red, and Grandmas on the page all I like, but unless it’s an organic sprouting from inner compost, I will have nothing but wooden words on the page.
So, I closed my notebook, put away my wonderful Quirky Cup Collective pen, and instead watched a paper bag blowing around in the wind.
I feel that my muse, or genius loci, or creative self still has more to say on all the things mentioned above, but I’ll just have to wait until she’s ready.
Blog of A Witch 